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Jul. 18th, 2005 @ 10:34 pm (no subject)
out of sight, out of mind. damn you
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Jul. 18th, 2005 @ 10:09 pm All Right, I'll Bite
Current Mood: Damnably so...
Current Music: Nickly Creek A Lighthouse's Tale
Geez it is boring around here, Ive actually resorted to updating this thing lol. Papers were supposedly due in rough draft today, but I pretty much ignored that. My presentation is due Wednesday, and that is going pretty well. Most of the slides are in final draft already, I jsut have like 5 more slides out 16. Yay. As far as real life is going, eh. This is the last week of the program, and I have a feeling that it will go pretty slowly. I am hoping to do things with the rest of the people throughout the week, since I will probably never see them again unless they allow me to go way out of my way to see them (which I would gladly do if it wouldnt mark me as weird and obsessive...). unfortunately, most of them are motivated and actually working on their projects and stuff. i dont know why, but they are. sigh. anyway, we went to mako's last friday, and that was great. 101.1's bar, so that was cool, i recognized most of the music since i always listen to the station yay. We had a big group, 11 of us, including 4 girls. Unfortunately, I wasnt danced with very much. One of the girls didnt dance much at all, I dont think she enjoyed herself. Meghan and Natalia danced, and danced with. I cant figure out if they didnt dance with me as much because of how i dance, or who i am, or becuse im single... i dunno, im grasping at straws and probably totally over reacting. *shrug* but i was, and still am a little, hurt and jealous. oh well, ill get over it. I dunno, the part that annoyed me was that if a guy that we didnt know came up and started dancing behind me, Meghan would pull me away and start dancing with me to "save me from the creepy guys." which was grr, because i view a guy dancing with me on his own accord as one of the largest compliments that they can give to dancing. As long as the guy doesnt have a hard on or something, and doesnt get too grabby... THe grabby part isnt even tahth big of a problem because you can "hold" (pin) their hands against your weist or hip bones or something, whereever you are comfortable. And its not like she had a lack of guys dancing with her, they just happened to be guys that we knew, that came with us. Ok, upon reading that I have decided that it sounded bitter. Perhaps that is what it was supposed to sound like. Oh well.
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Jul. 8th, 2005 @ 11:24 pm Um Yeah, its been a while
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Silence is Golden...
So it has. Well, I am in Orlando now, Ive been living here since the 15th of May. Lots has happened... Hmm, where to start. Well, Evan and I broke up about two weeks ago. Actually, I did the breaking up. I still feel horrible, I know I broke his heart, but I really didnt know what else to do. Well, we have been having problems for a while. But what couple doesn't? Problem was, ours werent getting fixed. I began to not enjoy hanging out wiht him anymore. Going over to his house and playing video games, doing nothing, or watching movies with his parents wasnt enough anymore. We began fighting a lot more than we ever did, and nothing was special to me. I rememeber when I used to get flutters in my stomache when we kissed and such... that doesnt really happen anymore. Or didnt i guess. Anyway, I also wanted to be single and not have to worry about how what I do effects someone else. I guess it also has something to do with the fact that Ive been meeting other people here in Orlando and am feeling that I could be interested in someone else. That makes being in such a long term relationship hard, especially since I have never dated anyone else. Im also thinking that I want to try dating. Ive never really done it. Evan never took me on dates. By the time I was old enough to do it, we were already old hat and he didnt need to woo me anymore I guess. I dunno, we have been on a couple of dates, but they were usually for some special reason or another... I dont know, I guess I feel that I lost out on that one. Anyway, other than that, Ive met some great people over here. Hiram is from Puerto Rico, one of the other Nanotech REUs. Hes a gamer (yay) and really easy to talk to. Were all at his apartment a lot watching movies and doing stuff. John is from Philly, and he writes music. We have spent a lot of time together working on the group project, it is a little city. Its pretty cool, but Im getting annoyed since a lot of the rest of the people in the group havent done jack shit. Greg and Justin are in the CREOL optics REU group, well, im not exactly sure if they are an REU or not. Anyway, they are also doing research projects. We all hang out a lot. So yeah, the summer is turning out great. I havent been very productive on my project lately, since my machine that is required for the work has been broken for three weeks now. Im not exactly sure what to put in the paper and presentation that is due this coming friday, since i have absolutely no results and such... Yeah.... I end up watching a lot of TV while everyone else is working, so it gets really boring here.
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May. 13th, 2005 @ 09:22 pm The Results Are In....
Current Mood: i won...
AND I GOT 3RD PLACE IN PHYSICS IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!

by the way that is $1000

and I come home tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May. 10th, 2005 @ 07:44 pm Bored As All Get Out
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: i dunno
Im bored stiff right now. I'm in Pheonix, for those of you who don't know (not that anyone reads this anyway... :)) today is the last day of setup and we did nothing. yesterday we went to the grand canyon, and that was cool, but it was a 4 hour drive each way and that drove everyone nuts. we were supposed to go swimming today, but the boys didnt want to. ive been calling my fiance everyday- i jsut like saying that word. anyway, saturday was my birthday, and i have yet to go buy a lotto ticket or a pack of cigaretts to throw away, nor have i visited any sort of club. mikey and karen said that they would take me when i got back. I cant wait for graduation and such to see my friends from HS again... even though it will be the last time for many of them. Evan is doing great, i talked to him and played online (counter strike source) this morning. i got another couple of days, then i come back for bacaluariet and then off to my apartment. im gonna try to come back to school one of the days in the last couple of weeks, just for kicks, but im not sure if i will be able too. oh well, ill try anyways.

still bored but i have nothing else to write, so talk to ya later. byez...
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May. 6th, 2005 @ 11:38 pm Oh My God
What a day, what a day. My last day at Satellite, my last day 17, last time see certain people *cough Derick cough* Oh yeah, and the last time I had a boyfriend. Thats right, Evan is no longer my boyfriend. He's my fiance. joy of all joys........ too excited to talk.......
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May. 3rd, 2005 @ 08:34 pm Contradictions Galore
Current Mood: annoyed
Wow, the thing between Adam Lauren and Gina is not cool. (notice the separation in order...) Promises were made and have not been broken, but delayed. I wish I could just IM Adam and say something, but it feels like I am not allowed. I don't know him, so I don't know what is going on inhis head or in his heart. I wish I could ask him a few questions- or at least present some statements for him to think about.

I don't know how much you like Gina. I don't know what kind of a relationship you are looking for. And if there is any chance that you will find what you are looking for, past High School that is over now, in her, then take your time. But you have another girl, currently in the wing. A girl whom you are clearly interested in. Experience says that you can't have both, unfortunately. But if Gina isn't gonna fulfil the relationship you are looking for, every aspect, then stop fooling around. I don't know Gina, I won't pretend to. I don't know if she is looking for a quality relationship or for a good time with the hot Adam Macabe. But you can't keep breaking her heart, her being the both of them. Keep the promises that you made, don't put them off. You can't make them both happy. And if you don't intend to keep the promises, make that clear. Choose your side, you can't sit in both camps.
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Apr. 26th, 2005 @ 09:14 pm Official and Off the Ground
Current Mood: lethargic
Current Music: "Holiday" Green Day
I went to Orlando and signed my lease for my apartment today. I move in on Thursday. Went and bought all my stuff this past weekend, like towels pots pans and silverwear... It is becoming a reality. I can't wait to get my key and go into MY apartment...

Classes should be winding down, but they seem to be spinning up. All my AP teachers are cramming to prepare us for the AP tests next week, and I have all of exams then too. My Calc III class is having our last chapter test on monday, then I guess I will take my exam Thursday afternoon or something. I'll have to take my Humanities exam Wednesday night, then my World Religions exam Friday morning maybe? On Wednesday afternoon I have my Statistics AP test, and on Thursday morning I have my Literature AP test. On Tuesday I also have a test in AP Lit on Literary Terms. Sometime in there I will have to try to fit my regular Satellite exams, because I don't have A's in the classes that actually count for the exemption... That sucks. Anyway, I'm planning on coming home for the senior picnic, and I will probably take my Lit exam that morning, maybe my stat exam as well. Gosh I'm gonna be busy for the next couple of weeks. Plus Friday I have that research paper due in Lit... Agh...

"We're alive but we're dead!"
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Apr. 24th, 2005 @ 03:20 pm Almost Peaceful
Current Mood: nerdy
Current Music: "Jesus of Suburbia" Green Day
Yesterday was interesting, the morning you already hear about, at Grad Bash and mikey's house. After I woke up I puttered around on the laptop for a while then I remembered that there was a play that night, Sleeping Beauty, at the King Center. I looked for tickets, and actually they were rally easy to find. I ran this by Evan a couple of days ago, but I wasn't sure if he would still want to go, so I had to wait until he got home to but the tickets. In the mean time I called Amanda, the person that I will be changing leases with, and found out that I could move in on THURSDAY!!!!! So of course I had to start apartment shopping right away. Evan still wasn't off work, so we went to Target. They had nothing. Anyway, I ended getting home in time for Evan and I to go to the play, except it turned out not to be a play, it was a ballet. Most of them were Russian and the sets were made in Russia, so it was spectacular. Evan even said that he liked it, yay. We had a heart to heart when we got back to my house, we had been spatting all evening. A little yelling, a little crying, a little criticizing (on both sides, except for the crying, that was just me). Ending result, we were happy with each other, and my doubts about saying yes to marrying him when he asks were dispelled.

This is Lauren's Birthday and it is very exciting!!!!! SHE IS THE BEST AND I LOVE HER!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAUREN!!!!

Oh yeah, I'm at Evan's house, we've been playing Counter-Strike Source, fun fun
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Apr. 23rd, 2005 @ 01:44 pm The Night of the Century
Current Mood: hyper
Current Music: Anything by Green Day, they were singing it all night
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! Grad Bash was the best ever!We didn't do many rides, but I got to talk to many great old friends throughout the night. Actually, I think I went on one ride throughout the night, the Jurassic Park raft thingy. At the beginning of the night we lost Karen and I was freaking out, but we found her and the rest of the night was cool. I learned how to dance and not look like a fool (2 guys danced with me, one jsut started dancing behind me, the other asked, that was the greatest compliment ever on may dancing...) and then Mikey Sarah Karen and Mary took me over the the stage where Taking Back Sunday was playing and we went into the most pit. I only fell over once, and learned that the edicate (thoguh im sure that is the wrong word to use, i got laughed at for using it) is amazing. Imediately the crowd backed off and some guys pulled me up so that I wouldn't get hurt. There was crowd surfing, which looked awesome, and I don't think anyone got majorly hurt. I lost Karen Sarah and Mary, but managed to stay with Mikey so that I wasn't all alone... It was amazing and I can't wait for an oppertunity to do it again. I'm really looking forward to prom now for the dancing. After we got back to the school everyone was pissed because someone came and painted stuff on all of our windows, like "06" "jrs rule" and "seniors suck" and stuff. I had the stuff all over by truck, apparently they missed the window... and to that tribute they left a simple "oops..." needless to say i was pissed. Karen's car got covered, Jennifer got some on her windows, Mikey even got peanut butter under his door handle. He's allergic to that stuff! That could have been bad. I hope that Kevin didn't get any under his door handle, I htin khe is even more sensitive to the stuff... Anyway, we went over to Mikey's afterwards (my parents actually gave me permission!) and he made grilled cheese sandwiches for us. They were awesome, best grilled cheese iver ever had in my life. I came home and crashed for a couple hours, got home around 6:30am and slept till noon. I bet that the rest of them are still sleeping, thank God that I wake up in mornings well no matter how much sleep. Anyway, it was an absolute blast, and now I am fully understanding that I am a senior. Classes are gonna suck, senioritus is gonna go rampant in the school...

Oh yeah, I SAW JAMES PAINE AT GRAD BASH!!! that was so awesome!

See ya later
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Apr. 22nd, 2005 @ 04:02 pm I Finally Am Understanding!
Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: Dragostea din tei
It is starting to hit me that I am actually a senior and will be graduating this year. It never seems like the end of the year to me, at some point school just ends and i chill at home for a couple of months before the routine starts up again. Nothing special, ive been doing it for what, 13 years now? But i have finally paid my dues to society, to the education committee, I, Catherine Bewerse, am graduating, moving on. Can't wait. Less than a month now.

Grad bash is tonight, at Universal. I gotta be at the school in a mere 40 minutes to get on the bus and travel with my fellow seniors over to the park. Yesssssssssss!
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Apr. 19th, 2005 @ 08:27 pm ok maybe i got it
Current Mood: happy
Current Music: "Red Rubber Ball" Simon and Garfunkle
as you can see i managed to change the colors. However, the format is still left to be desired...

Ive never had an online journal before, or any journal for that case. i would guess a purpose (and almost typed that) but that would be overanalyzing. oh well. today was a good day i think. my boyfriend came over before satellite classes and we talked and stuff. ill keep stuff to myself. i got my new laptop saturday. it is beautiful and i love it. it has effectively replaced my desktop, yay!

hey! im moving out in 11 days. thats right, my lease for my apartment in orlando begins on the 1st of may. im so excited. ive even started using that on my parents. "get over it, im leaving in 12 days..." ect. so awesome. some friends are already planning on coming over and hanging out then crashing for the night. karen keeps saying "yes i finally have a place to stay in orlando!" im keeping my door open to friends. cant wait.

I think evan (my boyfriend) is going to propose soon. We have been talking about it for a while, and i know he is planning on asking me to marry him sometime, but i am not exactly sure when. i hope he does it soon.

enough for now. see ya later
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Apr. 19th, 2005 @ 07:57 pm Onto the bandwagon
Current Mood: blank
oh ive hitched up. not that anyone knows to read this. anyway, im trying to customize the colors and such and am having a bear of a time at it. so yeah. im gonna get back to that.
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